“The Beautiful Wife” by Sandy Ralya (My Review)


When Sandy Ralya’s marriage was in trouble, she was desperate for help but didn’t know how to ask for it. Everyone else’s marriage seemed so perfect. How could she admit hers was not?

Sandy eventually sought guidance from godly mentors and Christian counselors. What she learned transformed her life . . . and then her marriage. Now, she wants to provide other wives with the same nurturing and mentoring that saved her relationship.

Whether your marriage struggles are few or many, The Beautiful Wife offers biblical principles, practical tips, and inspiring stories to guide and encourage you as you look for God’s best in your marriage. Use this book along with the Beautiful Womanhood website, The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal or The Beautiful Wife Mentor’s Guide to lead other women through a study of the book and together build loving, godly, and supportive relationships with other wives.

“When women share with each other the details of their journeys with God as wives,” writes Sandy, “it’s a beautiful thing indeed.”

Also available:

1. The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal:  Nurture your faith as you nurture your marriage

God wants you to have a great marriage! If you have “but how” and “what if” questions about your relationship with your husband, The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal will motivate you to discover the plan God has for you and your spouse. As you read each chapter of The Beautiful Wife, this prayer journal will enrich your journey with:

  • Instruction on how to pray for you, your husband, and your relationship
  • Dedicated space to journal your reflections on topics discussed in The Beautiful Wife
  • Scripture verses that will deepen your understanding of God’s Word
  • Guidance on setting goals and envisioning change in your marriage

Whether you’re using this book alone, alongside devotions or articles found on beautifulwomanhood.com, or as part of a Beautiful Womanhood small group, The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal will offer encouragement and fresh insight on what it means to be a beautiful wife.

2. The Beautiful Wife Mentor’s Guide: An all-in-one resource for building a marriage mentoring ministry in your church or community

With more than half of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s easy for women to feel anxious over whether their marriage has what it takes to survive. Sometimes the best advice comes from other wives who have experienced the same struggles.

In The Beautiful Wife Mentor’s Guide, critically acclaimed author, Sandy Ralya, gives you everything you need to support your God-given call to mentor other wives.   Inside you’ll find:

  • Instructions on how to implement Beautiful Womanhood small groups
  • Guidance on becoming a confident marriage mentor
  • Hostess tips to simplify hospitality for God’s glory
  • Week-by-week leader’s materials, including prayers, discussion points, and optional activities

Use this resource with The Beautiful Wife, The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal, and other resources available on beautifulwomanhood.com to grow a small group community where you and other Christian wives can share the journey of discovering God’s heart for your marriage.


When author and speaker Sandy Ralya’s marriage was in trouble, she walked into church each Sunday morning desperate for help, but not daring to ask for it because everyone else’s marriage seemed so perfect. Her life appeared beautiful on the outside, but on the inside it was a mess.

Over time, Sandy turned to God by reading the Bible and prayer and sought guidance from trusted friends, godly mentors and wise Christian counselors. What she learned transformed her life and then her marriage.

The loving support that Sandy received from other women on her own journey inspired her to become the founder and director of Beautiful Womanhood, a Christian marriage mentoring ministry for wives.

Since the year 2003, thousands of women have been directly impacted by Sandy’s marriage teachings, attending Beautiful Womanhood small groups led by marriage mentors, and applying The Beautiful Wife mentoring curriculum. This curriculum is a powerful resource praised by bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn as “an incredible handbook that every woman needs.”

Sandy and her husband Tom have been married since 1980 and live near Grand Rapids, Michigan.  They have three adult children and a growing number of grandchildren.  When not writing and speaking, Sandy enjoys shopping at yard sales for vintage clothing, cooking, traveling, and drinking really good coffee, (black is best) with her husband.



“I believe this book will be life-changing for many, many women and their marriages.”–Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only (Jeff Feldhahn has a book, For Men Only)

My Review:

The Beautiful Wife, by Sandy Ralya, is based on Titus 2:2-5, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, … so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, … children, … being subject to their own husbands, so that the Word of God will not be dishonored.”

Sandy’s book is instrumental in teaching wives how to become a Christ-centered wife that complements her husband and cares for her family.  Sandy doesn’t just tell you what you should be doing, but gives personal and other examples that help you understand the concept.  She’s very transparent about her own marriage so you know that everyone has struggles.

The first chapter, Equipping for the Journey, is pivotal to the rest of the book.  Sandy lists several steps that are vital:

  1. Turn to God:  Be Still; Worship; Read the Bible; Pray
  2. Understand Your Role:  Equal Partner, Friend, Helper, Prayer Warrior
  3. Share Within a Community of Women:  Humility, Transparency and Accountability

The rest of the book is centered on these three important issues.  Part of it is accomplished by the Reflection section, where you answer questions about yourself with deep honesty and transparency.  The First Steps section will give you some goals/steps that you will be expected to follow through on, and will be held accountable for at the next meeting.  As Sandy would ask, “After all, isn’t that why you’ve made time to study The Beautiful Wife?”

The other chapters include the following.  They are in-depth and handled with grace.

  1. Self-Care
  2. Living Genuinely
  3. Cultivating Mystique
  4. Inviting Romance
  5. Thoughts About Sex
  6. Opening Communication–Speaking the Truth in Love
  7. Managing Money
  8. Creating a Culture of Beauty
  9. Professionalizing the Roles of Wife/Mother
  10. Choosing God’s Best

One thing I suggest when you read the book, is to remember it’s written for wives, not husbands.  I struggled with some of the concepts because I felt it fit both spouses.  And a lot of it does, but Sandy is only focusing on the woman’s part.  That will help calm down some of those hackles that start to rise when you think the woman has to do all the changing.

My biggest complaint is that this book wasn’t available when I first got married!  Growing up with three brothers, being a tomboy, and not getting much motherly advice on the ways of women made our marriage difficult for a number of years as well.  I could have used a lot of the advice written between the covers of this book!  So much practical and Scriptural advice!   Also, please heed the advice about sexual and physical abuse issues.  You will most likely need professional help.

If you whole-heartedly persist with God and the Holy Spirit, your marriage can be changed to be a light to others, while creating a peaceful, loving home environment for your husband, your children and yourself.  It’s a win-win situation.

This study can be implemented in home groups, church-hosted meetings, or one-on-one mentoring.  I would recommend Sandy’s book for single women thinking about marriage as well as engaged women.

This book was provided by Cat Hoort of Kregel Publications.  My review is my own honest opinion.  No monetary compensation was exchanged.


5 thoughts on ““The Beautiful Wife” by Sandy Ralya (My Review)

    • Hi Karen–I’s like to see all young women read Sandy’s book if they are even considering marriage. It’s that good! But it’s not too late for those already married. They will find some jewels to improve their marriage. Thank you for commenting here on my blog. Feel free to share my blog with your friends!

  1. Pingback: Where Do We Place the Emphasis? | Southern Reformation

  2. Pingback: Pearls of Wisdom « Thoughts from the Porch

Please leave an opinion or comment for this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s